Contagious by The Isley Brothers

I had a conversation with Beautiful a few days ago about karma. Being a non believer pre-chat, she (brutally) enlightened me to the way I've been feeling for the past few months. Ever since the break up, to be precise. I suppose you could say that I've finally come to grasp karma's laws.

I feel different. I'm not the same person, and it's taken some getting used to (the banshee in me hath disappeared). For as long as I can remember, I've always been involved with someone at every point in my life. And yet, I've (almost) never been good enough. I took (past tense optimism here) people, situations, feelings for granted and did things my way. Because that's all there was to it. The moment. As someone once said, how can it be wrong when it feels so right? Or something along those lines of bullshit is what I'd comfort myself with.

I've never put myself in this situation before. Not one to beat around the bush when I see something I like (want), the game was never really my area of expertise (or interest). Yet what goes around comes back around, so here I am. The fool. Possibly setting myself up for hurt, and I am fully aware of that. Maybe it's just naive hope that all this would strike out the karma I'm due for. Somehow, I think this is just the beginning.

What's sad is that I love her, but I'm falling for you.

Soldier on, Asha.